Villain of my own novel

"I want to die." Eshwar mumbled, and Isha stared at him with a pained expression as her heart clenched at his words, but if it had been possible, she would have stopped him even though she didn't want him to suffer any longer.

He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth in rage. Subconsciously, his body emitted a violent ripple of pitch-black hue, which gradually transformed into a cape on his back.

He had regressed over a hundred times, and every time Frostine was the one who died, there was a time when he killed her because he couldn't control his strength properly because he was too happy to see her alive, but there were too many times when she died protecting him. He didn't like that feeling of being someone who should be protected; he never liked it. But he ignored that feeling, and he tried to save her many times, but everything would still continue in the same way, and after some time, it started to irritate him.

It was as if he had been cursed to see her die; she was the only one he wanted to protect, so he didn't fully understand, but he concluded that the regression is a bad omen that forces the one who regressed to witness the death of their loved ones right in front of them.

(AN: Eshwar's thoughts about 'regressions' is mentioned in chapter 126: Eunomia.).

"Aarrrggggh!!!" Eshwar screamed at the top of his lungs and lunged forward, killing everything in sight; it was the moment he lost it, all the pent-up emotions burst out of him, and he subconsciously transformed into his Frost Devil form.

He turned completely white before small cracks appeared on his forearms, legs below his kneecaps, and abdomen, slowly peeling off and transforming into translucent light blue crystal-like body parts, his fingers had turned into claws, as had his toes, and his heels had turned sharp as if another finger had protruded out of it. His wavy hair was glowing white as if it had devoured the darkness, his sclera had turned black, and his iris was glowing bright orange with vertical black slits.

Everything in his path was shredded before they could even realize what had happened; he dashed like a ribbed bog and ravaged everything, slowly destroying the Earth, and when there was nothing left to destroy, he began to dig because he felt a very dense and pure mana that had developed over the last century oozing out from the deeper depths.

When he was digging down, he felt congested and it irritated him that things were preventing him from going deeper, so he punched at his sides, destroying the world from the inside, his single punch created a ton of space that he could build a dozen of mansions there if he wanted, after he was done with one side he punched at the other side after it cleared the path he dug down again, dove into the lava and completely froze it, then broke it after it hardened and continued until he arrived at a location where the 'World Energy' appeared to be abundant.

Isha was perplexed by what Eshwar was doing, it appeared that he had some kind of plan, but she was still perplexed and was staring at him dig around in shock, she asked herself what the hell he was doing and why it seemed so easy when he did it, because he had already reached the centre of the Earth where its core of World Energy was present and he seemed to be searching for something...

As soon as that thought cruised her mind, she smiled forcefully and shook her head to dismiss that thought.

"No, no, no, it's impossible, it...." Isha paused and stared at Eshwar who seemed to be searching for something, earnestly.

".....I-it can't be....right?" She mumbled.

After a while of searching, he discovered a golf ball-sized translucent ball that didn't give off any feeling, but radiated tons and tons of magical ripples that caused Eshwar to bleed profusely as soon as he took it to his hands, and in an instant the place he had just dug was filled with his blood forming an ankle length puddle of blood, Eshwar gritted his teeth from pain, but those teeth instantly felt off as soon as he tried to clench it, he closed his eyes as he lost all of his senses and gulped down the golf sized translucent ball right before he completely lost his senses.

'Hahahahahahahahaha!!!' He laughed maniacally, inwardly. Isha clenched her fists and forced her eyes closed at the gore scene, but it was pointless because she would 'know' what was going on even if her eyes were closed.

"Hic.... Esh-Eshwar...." Isha mumbled while hiccupping.

Suddenly, Eshwar focused on the crystal he swallowed, perhaps because of the 'Taboo' skill he developed when he ate monsters and humans alike, he was able to 'Devour' the 'seed' which held an abundance of World Energy! After focusing on it, everything around him began to fall apart, and the Earth, on which he had spent thousands of years, was destroyed by him, but he didn't know because he didn't have any of his senses yet.

After everything in the golf ball was devoured, he began to heal as well. After he healed properly, he noticed one major difference: he was in the middle of something that was floating away, Earth was broken apart from the sudden disappearance of mana that held it together and the damage Eshwar had caused from the inside, then suddenly...

He died.

He didn't even know what killed him, but he died in an instant and the golden clock appeared before him, again.

It was the cause of his regression...every single amount of pain he felt, every single death he had to witness, it forced him to bury his own parents hundreds of times, forced him to witness the death of the only person he wanted to protect, that goddamn thing was the cause of everything!! Eshwar thought of a sword and a sword made of ice materialized in his hand which he clenched and swung at it, diagonally, the slash passed through the golden clock more easily than he thought and balanced each other without completely falling apart and suddenly Eshwar felt a strange yet strong pull with two strong energies, one gave off a same feeling as the 'seed' he ate and the other gave off a ten times more stronger feeling, so choose the latter.

Isha had turned a bit numb to his surprises so she simply stared at the phenomenon take place with a stupefied expression on her face, thinking that nothing more could ever surprise, but....

​ He appeared in front of a planet that was 50 times larger than Earth and appeared to be similar to Earth that had received a 'saturation boost,' and the pull vanished as soon as he entered that planet's atmosphere, and gravity worked just fine because Eshwar got free freefall almost from the space.

Isha stared at him in disbelief because that was definitely the planet she was on in her past life, she then noticed that he was in his 'Frost Devil' form, so everything fit perfectly, it was only after he reached the ground that they met!! Isha was curious to learn what he was thinking when they met, but...

Everything abruptly turned dark, nothing was visible and then suddenly....

"Eshwar." Isha's voice rang out in Eshwar's head, and Isha, who was staring at him, was taken aback because it was unmistakably her voice, but she hadn't said anything....

And when she began to think about it, she realized that her voice just sounded in Eshwar's head, and then she remembered that his memories from the moment of their meeting had been sealed due to the price she had to pay in order to 'Curse' the Gods who betrayed her, she smiled bitterly, and everything morphed around her, and she didn't 'feel' Eshwar anymore.

***

"Gasp!" Isha jolted awake as she reappeared in front of Jiwoo, Vinny, Katharine, Katline and Violet, and because she wasn't focusing on her eyes, she saw their emotions, and everyone was surprised and terrified.

"You. What are you looking at?" Isha glanced at Jiwoo and asked.

"You...no, Mi-Misss Isha, y-yu-you j-ju-just disappeared and re-reappeared just now." Jiwoo said.

"!"