Ze Tian Ji (Way of Choices)

Chapter 598 – Before Life and Death, a Conversation about Passion and Love

Amongst the members of the Orthodox Academy, Zhexiu’s cultivation level was not the highest, but he was undoubtedly the strongest in fighting. In a battle of life-or-death, even Chen Changsheng was not his match. This was because of his incomparably rich battle experience and his frightening will tempered from walking between life and death. However, in matters of love, he had not the slightest experience, much less any perception for it.

“Doesn’t she loathe you?” he directly voiced the doubts in his mind.

Chen Changsheng laughed, not knowing how to respond to this question, but when he laughed, he smelled the faint scent of rust coming from his throat. It was the scent of blood. His expression flickered and his spiritual sense moved as he entered meditative introspection. He then plunged into a long silence, his face very pale.

So it turned out…that this was what was going on. Could it be that his maximum limit of twenty years old had come in advance?

He could clearly sense that all the meridians of his body had already ruptured once, but for some reason, the several thousand wounds in his meridians had all been cauterized shut and were no longer bleeding. Soon after, he understood why, because he could clearly feel her blood moving through his body.

The limpid and slightly chilly waters of the lake slowly flowed around the wooden pillars of the house as footsteps could be heard. Xu Yourong and Tang Thirty-Six walked into the house. Tang Thirty-Six indicated that he and Zhexiu should go, leaving only Chen Changsheng and Xu Yourong inside. The lake waters continued to slowly flow below the house, but the small black fish were no longer as excited. However, that date pit had disappeared.

Chen Changsheng and Xu Yourong quietly looked into each other’s eyes, neither speaking for a very long time. The house was very still, even somewhat desolate. He thought to himself, as the man, there are still some things that should be for me to say. Licking his somewhat dry lips, he said seriously to her, “Sorry.”

This simple ‘sorry’ had many meanings, like how he had concealed his illness, how his fate was not good and he was troubling her, how it was impossible for them to continue being together.

Xu Yourong calmly looked into his eyes as she said, “On that night, was this the secret that you wanted to tell me?”

“Yes, my body has been unhealthy since I was a child. After the age of ten, when my soul began seeping out of my severed meridians, Master judged that I would not live past the age of twenty, but…”

After a moment of silence, Chen Changsheng continued, “I thought that no matter what, I would still be able to live until twenty, that I still had three years of time. I believed that I really did have a chance to change my fate. I wanted to try first and then consider my options, but I didn’t imagine that, in the end, the age of twenty would come in advance.”

Xu Yourong asked, “And then?”

Chen Changsheng gazed at her snow-white face and could imagine just how much heart blood she had paid to save him, real heart blood. He softly said once more, “Sorry.”

Xu Yourong held her hands behind her and walked to the window, gazing at the profuse stars in the night sky. A few moments of silence passed before she spoke, “At the time, you wanted to tell, but I didn’t want to hear, so there’s no need for you to apologize.”

For a long time, Chen Changsheng did not reply. Finally, he said, “Fortunately, the engagement was already annulled.”

“Or else I would have become a widow?” Xu Yourong did not turn her head and her voice grew icier.

Chen Changsheng could sense what she was feeling. He was somewhat moved, somewhat comforted, but even more anxious. He said to her back, “I will die.”

Xu Yourong’s voice continued to grow colder, bordering on apathetic. “And then?”

Chen Changsheng replied, “Zhexiu’s illness has a chance of being cured, but this illness of mine really cannot be cured.”

Xu Yourong’s reply was still those two words, “And then?”

Chen Changsheng continued, “Senior Su Li is so unrestrained and open-minded, but not even he would agree to marrying off his daughter to Zhexiu, so how could your parents agree to marry you off to me?”

Xu Yourong replied, “I do not require the orders of my parents and my teacher is also far away. My marriage is my own matter.”

Chen Changsheng argued, “And the Empress? She so dotes on you, cares for you—could it be that you don’t need to heed her opinion?”

Xu Yourong’s voice was very calm. “My affairs have never heeded the opinions of anyone else, and if you really are Crown Prince Zhaoming, then whether you’re ill or not, even on the verge of death, you would still be blessed to live ten thousand years and the Empress would never agree to me being married off to you, so this question of yours has no meaning.”

(TN: Wishing someone to live ten thousand years is a phrase usually reserved for wishing the emperor a long life, here being used to indicate that Chen Changsheng is a member of the Chen Imperial clan and that the Empress would not permit a marriage with someone associated with her enemies.)

The starlight fell upon the lake and was reflected off its surface, falling on the house in a sheet of silver, outlining her body in silver as well. She was strikingly beautiful, as if at any moment, she could ride the wind and depart.

Gazing at her figure, Chen Changsheng felt like it was getting further and further away. He softly asked, “Then what about me?”

Xu Yourong turned to him, her dress rising in the wind, her voice as chilly as the wind. “And what about you?”

Chen Changsheng looked into her eyes with no intention of backing down. “I will not let you marry a person about to die, and I don’t want you to tell the world about our relationship. Our engagement is already annulled and as long as we don’t admit it, then after I die, no matter who you marry, it will be much easier, like…Qiushan Jun.”

After awakening and confirming that his meridians were all ruptured, that his chance of living was nil, that his future days were scarce, he began to consider a few problems. This was his true opinion, his own decision. He thought that he would be able to very calmly accept all of this, yet when he spoke about how, in the future, she should marry Qiushan Jun, for some inexplicable reason, a feeling of bitter sorrow appeared in his heart.

Xu Yourong quietly stared at him, not speaking for a very long time. Just when Chen Changsheng thought that she would depart with a flick of her sleeve, she suddenly said, “Just like you say, the engagement between us had already been annulled, so there’s no relationship between the two of us. This being the case, what right do you have to speak with the tone of a fiancé and discuss what I will do after your death?”

Chen Changsheng did not know how to respond because everything she said was correct.

“But I really will die, and I will die very soon.”

“Every person will die—Emperor Taizong and Zhou Dufu also died. This is a common affair.”

“I’m just worried about you.”

“Relax, while you are still alive, I would die for you, just like you would die for me.”

This was the most passionate of romantic phrases, the most sincere confession of love, but Xu Yourong had spoken so calmly and indifferently, like she was speaking of a most simple and plain principle. Water will flow downhill, the sun will set and not rise again, every person will die, and we are lovers walking the same path, naturally able to offer our lives for each other.

If this were anyone else, they would assuredly be rendered stunned and speechless by the contrast between these words of passion and the mood they were spoken with. However, Chen Changsheng also possessed an extremely unique personality and did not feel that any of this was inappropriate. On the contrary, he felt that this was the her that he loved so much. He was a similar sort of person and so regardless of whether confronting life and death or love, he would cast his emotions into the deepest part of his body, confronting and handling these matters with a calm attitude.

“…But I will not live for you. While you are still alive, I will live my own life. If you die, I will similarly live well.”

Xu Yourong looked into his eyes and said, “But first, you must struggle to live and I will also struggle for your survival. I do not want you to die.”

This conversation before life and death about passion and love came to an end.

She had very calmly obtained the final victory in this debate.