Martial King's Retired Life

“Ah, so you work at His Highness Green Prince’s place. Perhaps we have met before.”

Mo Changzai, the official who brought me in for questioning, was a student of Secretary Zhang who primarily overlooking those involved in civil servant examinations. Initially, he looked dangerous. Once I got to know him, however, I found out he was actually quite nice. His elder brother was a record keeper at Green Prince’s place. Since I just returned from Nanjiang, we talked about it quite a bit.

“Sir, you said there was an investigation you need to consult me on. Why are you bringing me back to Liu Shan Men?”

Mo Changzai smiled. “We are conducting the investigation here at Liu Shan Men. Plus, the person who reported you is inside.”

“Mm? Someone from Liu Shan Men reported me? Who the flip was it?!”

“Me.”

Upon entering, I came across a guy and a girl, I mean flower boy. “You?”

The confident, relaxed, refined gentleman with three strands for a beard expressed to the three officials, “Song Ou is honoured to meet you.” Smirking, he then jibed, “Oh, if it isn’t Duke Ming. Are you not supposed to be standing at Daren Academy as punishment? Where did you find the time to come here for a stroll?”

“How you doing, Brother B*****d?” I responded.

“What did you just call me?! See? He has no respect for rules in anything he does. You can see how ridiculously he’d conduct himself. My report is not groundless.”

Ah, so it was you who reported me. All right.

When he made eye contact with me, Shen Kuang’s eyes went back and forth between his two sides as he timidly said, “Brother-in-Law stated you disregard him, always try to steal the limelight and, most importantly,” softening his voice, he finished, “you always hang around my sister.”

Me: “… Huh?”

I don’t see the problem?

“Indeed.” Mo Changzai opened a small booklet. “You have accused Ming Feizhen of coveting credit, harassing colleagues, owing the country a financial debt, undermining superiors, mistreating subordinates, flirting with your fiancée and… personal misconduct, correct?”

“Hahaha, correct!” replied Song Ou.

Mo Changzai nodded whilst muttering to himself. Based on my own lip-reading experience, he said, “I can’t believe you’d even use this as an accusation, shameless joke.” Instead of minding Mo Changzai, Song Ou glared daggers at me. By this point, I realised Song Ou reported me out of jealousy.

Some people have too much time on their hands!

“Bye.” I headed toward the exit.

“Have I given you permission to leave?” Song Ou extended a hand to stop me.

“Second!”

Hong Jiu descended from heaven, landing anterior to me and got into the pose Song Ou tried to get into faster than Song Ou could. Needless to say, Song Ou recoiled right away because he knew Hong Jiu could starch him.

“Unbelievable. Anyone who gets in my way will stand for a day.” I continued walking off.

“… Where are you going?! Where are you going?!” Song Ou seized my sleeve. “You’re not going anywhere until this is settled.”

I yanked my sleeve free. “Song Dalang, don’t start taking yards just because I give you an inch!”

“Ming Menqing, you think justice is just a word?! I will make sure you pay today!”

Hong Jiu: “Biscuit Peddler, take a look at your own reflection. You’re not half the man Duke Ming is.”

Shen Kuang: “Please stop. You three are tarnishing our reputation. You have completely veered off topic, not to mention the three honourable investigators are still present.”

“As you can see, he thinks he presides over this office when I am his superior.”

“Your logic is flawed,” asserted Mo Changzai, hand raised as a signal for Song Ou to cease. “In addition to his role as head constable of Liu Shan Men, His Majesty personally appointed him Hanlin Academician. While he has yet to assume the post, His Majesty’s decree is not forged. Thus, his superior is His Majesty. Therefore, your logic is… hehe.”

Song Ou instinctively touched his neck.

I remembered Secretary Zhang of the Ministry of Personnel never liked Liu Shan Men, or any of the three law enforcement officers that oversaw the martial world for that matter. As Tang Ye was forced to be a student of the department, he’d occasionally bring information back for us. If my memory served, they were planning to launch something big with the aim of weakening or removing the three offices.

As a notorious hater of martial artists, it shouldn’t be any surprise for Secretary Zhang students to inherit his perspective. Even though Song Ou and I were both members of Liu Shan Men, the Ministry of Personnel saw me as a student of Daren Academy, so they probably favoured me over Song Ou.

Mo Changzai closed the gap between me and him to whisper, “My brother will assume a post at Nieyao next year. Please take care of him.”

I responded with the smile of a cunning conspirator, and Mo Changzai responded with a friendly “You get it” smile. See? Pure, noble friendship existed in the political arena.

Song Ou would be stamping his feet if he didn’t look bad doing so. “Sir, are you going to investigate this report or not?!”

“Yes, yes, yes, I will get on with it right now. These transgressions could be minor or severe. Captain Song, can you supply evidence?”

“Evidence? Of course.” Song Ou sneered at me whilst smugly waving a stack of papers in my face. “Have a read yourself.”

“Fine.” I snatched the papers over to read through. “Let’s see what this nonsense is? Eh, no biggie. The handwriting is decent, and that’s it. Second, check it out.”

“Let’s see… Yeah, there really isn’t anything special. Young Master Kuang, take a look.”

“Oh, oh, eh? Eh?”

“G-give it back!” Song Ou snatched the stack back as though it was a treasure and even huffed a breath onto it. “Always doing inane things. Sir, here you are. I asked a colleague from the Qilin Guards to investigate and report in detail.”

No wonder why the handwriting looked familiar! I’ll be paying you a visit soon, Long Zaitian!

“You’re finished this time.” Song Ou glanced at me out of his peripherals. “I’m going to make you pay.” He then turned back to Mo Changzai. “What do you think, Sir?”

“Of what?”

“Ah?”

Mo Changzai alternated between looking down and then looking up perplexed at Song Ou. “Why did you give me ‘Analects’?”

Song Ou: “Ah?”

Glossary

Booklet – For clarity purposes, just know that, unless stated others, we’re talking about the one in accordion form. If you don’t know what that looks like, it’s this: http://p3.pstatp.com/large/113e100041cd630ef0cc9

Song Dalang and Ming Menqing – We’re going back to “Water Margin” jokes, Song Dalang is a play on Wu Dalang, who was killed after getting the green-hat treatment. Ming Menqing is a play on Xi Menqing, who’s a shameless, lecherous local bully, though he also had excellent business acumen.

Hanlin Academician – Hanlin Academician, a member of the Tang-Song Institute of Academicians. The title originated in the reign of Emperor Xuanzong as a duty assignment (drafting, editing, compiling, etc.) for officials holding substantive posts elsewhere in the central government. In Song, it became a substantive post, rank 3a; 3a in Chin; 3a then 2b, after 1318 2a in Yuan; 3a then 3b, but generally 5a in Ming; 2a in Qings; in Qing one each Chinese and Manchu appointee.