Martial King's Retired Life

Mo Changzai snickered. “Captain Song, you do not intend to shame him to death with Confucius’ wisdom, do you? The handwriting is certainly praiseworthy.”

“’Analects’?! Impossible!” Song Ou snatched over the stack of paper to read, then read and then read again. “It’s ‘Analects’?! It’s ‘Analects’! How…” He scrutinised the handwriting again, then turned to me. “Ming Feizhen, you scum! How dare you pull this sort of shameful trick in front of them?!”

Oh, and asking your boy to investigate me isn’t shameful?! I have yet to settle the score with you for reporting me! What if someone random hacks me while I’m outside of the academy?! You know how many people I have grudges with?! The whole pugilistic world is my enemy! The whole damn pugilistic world! Uncle Huang is also definitely searching for me right n-, ah, crap, I just stood him up again! I was supposed to copy “Analects” two hundred times, but you had to drag me out! I’m happy to skip class, but I can’t explain myself now, you crook!

“Sir, this is not the evidence I spoke of. Ming Feizhen, look at this character.”

I stole a gander. “Done.”

“This is your handwriting.” Song Ou sneered. “I have a document you wrote sitting on my table. If you want to deny this is your handwriting, I’ll bring it out right now to juxtapose.”

“Yeah, this is my handwriting.”

“You heard him, Sir.”

The three confused officers nodded. “Yes, yes, we did.”

“You all understand what this proves, right?”

The three confused officers: “What does it prove?”

“How are you still confused? Look, this stack of papers is not mine; it belongs to Ming Feizhen. Is the writing not on the wall?”

The three officers shook their head.

Me: “It is. It’s written in big font.”

Song Ou brightened up. “Exactly!”

“It’s a clear-cut case of theft.” I shook my head as though I was preparing to express regret. “Everyone was getting along perfectly fine. Why would you steal my work?”

Song Ou: “?”

The three officers. “Oh, so that’s how it is.”

“Ming Feizhen, don’t you frame me. Who’d want this rubbish? Even a dog wouldn’t want it!”

“Mind what you say now! These are Confucius’ wise and meaningful teachings. This is the task Daren Academy’s Principal Huang tasked me with; he’s always breathing down my neck for it. Are you suggesting Principal Huang is worthless compared to a dog?”

“D-don’t you warp my words to fit your narrative! I never said Principal Huang is worthless compared to a dog.”

“So, Confucius is worthless compared to a dog?”

“I never said that, either.”

“Who were you talking about, then?”

Song Ou, unable to express himself freely since the three officers were present, cleared his throat but was unable to hide his red face. “I-I was showing modesty.” Song Ou scrunched up the stack in his vice-like grip. “All that said, I’m certain you’re hiding the evidence on you! Hand it over!”

I let Song Ou frisk me, but he couldn’t find anything.

“It must be on your junior!” Song Ou tried to hound Hong Jiu, only to eat a slap that sent him back to where he started.

“I’m not your underling,” Hong Jiu asserted. “What gives you the right to frisk me?”

Hong Jiu was right. Moreover, where could he have hidden a stack of papers when he was dressed as a beggar, which left… only Shen Kuang.

Song Ou’s gaze on Shen Kuang made the latter retreat two steps. “Kuang… let me…”

Me: “Let me do this.”

Song Ou covered his eyes whilst screaming because I poked him in the eyes.

I couldn’t put my finger on the reason. Howbeit, it ticked me off to have someone gawking at Shen Kuang, so I couldn’t hold myself back from eye poking Song Ou.

The three amused officers shook their head. “Seeing as there is an absence of evidence, let us dismiss this matter here. Captain Song can visit us again once he has new evidence. Our doors are always open to you.”

I expressed, “Allow me to see you three to the door.”

Song Ou cried, “Please wait! Ah! My eye…”

I was going to turn and holler at Hong Jiu to escort me back to Daren Academy when I heard, “You think you can go back into hiding?”

“Hmm?” I cast my gaze over to see Zhao Xin and Lu Feiming with their fierce cronies.

“Finally found you. Ming Feizhen, you had me good. You claimed to be Hong Jiu, causing my men to suffer a beating. I can forgive that, but I can never forgive you hitting me!”

“Do something about it.” I slapped Zhao Xin on the spot.

Zhao Xin fossilised for a while before burying his head behind Lu Feiming and, in a stifled voice, choked out, “How dare he hit me?! What gives him the right to hit me?!” and then he started crying whilst hammering Lu Feiming’s back.

Lu Feiming: “You steal and then hit someone for demanding their belonging back? What books do you read?!”

I certainly didn’t see that question coming. “When did I ever take anything from him?”

“That morning! The morning you knocked me into the pond!” Zhao Xin brayed as tears flowed. He pointed at my face and cried, “Can you swear on your life you’re innocent?!”

I flapped my eyes. “Okay, I admit to it, but I didn’t take much.”

“Not much?”

“Okay, maybe it was a lot. Still, you are Young Master Zhao. It’s peanuts to you, yet you’re going to heckle me for it? I took a drop in your bucket, didn’t I?”

Lost, Lu Feiming turned back to Zhao Xin. “Your family is that r-, whoa…”

“He’s talking out of his rear! My father serves in the military. What opportunities exist in these times of peace?”

“We all know the truth deep down. With that said, I’m not entertaining you today. Remember to scrub the floor on your way out. Nobody wants your tears and snot.” I spun around, only to see Song Ou sprinting toward me.

“Ming Feizhen, give it back!” demanded Song Ou.

Zhao Xin and Lu Feiming also sprinted at me. “Give our stuff back!”

Since it’d be a waste to not play along when they were in synchrony, I took a small step to the left. As a result, they crashed into each other. My only complaint was that my work in Song Ou’s hand went flying into the air!

Ah, whatever. I’ll definitely have to copy it a few hundred times once I return. Only a different number in front of two zeros.

Upon getting to their feet, Zhao Xin and Lu Feiming yelled at Song Ou, “How dare you bump into us?! You not bring your eyes with you?!”

“Who the hell are you two uncultured swine?! I’m going to teach you two what the ‘Liu’ in Liu Shan Men is!”

“I don’t give a toss what you want. Just you try touching me. The military offices will immediately m-, eh, what’s this?” Zhao Xin picked up a sheet of paper from the ground. “Wait. What is this?!”

Song Ou: “Yeah, what is it?”

Shen Kuang took a glance at the sheet. “I recognise it because my sister has been investigating Yongheng Bank’s missing seal. It’s the seal in question.”

Zhao Xin and Song Ou looked up each other, then squinted.

Zhao Xin: “… So you’re the thief! Brothers, get him!”

The group of youths rushed toward Song Ou.

Hmm… I stamped that for sure. Yongheng Bank’s seal? That can’t be right. The characters I stamped were… I pocketed a seal after bumping into Zhao Xin. They then demanded something from me… If I link up everything that happened with Second’s encounters, it all clicks.

I bobbed my head, then sneaked off, leaving Song Ou behind.