Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Let’s eat it now.”

“Master, shall I crack it open?”

“”Let’s eat Sui’s prey~~”

“”Humph, I don’t like that it’s defeated by Sui, but I’ll eat it.””

“Have you all forgotten one important thing?” I sighed. “This is a subjugation mission. That means we have to submit it as evidence of a successful mission.”

“We could bring the shell…” suggested Grandpa Gon.

I considered it for a moment, then shook my head. “Have you forgotten? The Magic Stove is broken. I can still do a bit of pan frying, but things like roasting or grilling are out of the question without a Magic Stove.”

“Surely we could just boil it with one of your small stoves?”

Looks like Grandpa Gon was not willing to give up on eating this right away.

“Then, are you going to dismantle it for me? Can you do it cleanly so that we get all the meat out? Huh?”

“Kuuh…”

“Enough, let’s quickly bring it back and have the Guild dismantle it for us.”

There was a chorus of grumbles, but I stood firm.

“Ugh, you guys are so spoilt. No matter what we can’t eat it until the Guild has confirmed the subjugation mission.”

[1]

“”Hey! Since we can’t eat it right away, how about we hunt for other things here?”” Dora-chan suddenly said while I was busy stuffing the huge crab into my [Item Box].

“Fumu, sounds good. We don’t have any aquatic food anymore and the ocean is too far away.”

“Excellent suggestion. Let’s do that while tracking down that water horse and the Black Alligator.”

“”Yay~! Hunting~! Hunting~!””

“”I’m going to get the next big thing!!”” Dora-chan shouted as he shot forward on his wings.

“Oi, you guys…” nobody was listening to me at all. So I changed my question, “Can you detect monsters underwater?”

[1]

“Muu, it might be difficult, but not impossible…”

[2] We looked out at the vast, almost featureless body of water. Aside from the sandbar we were standing on, there was nothing but water as far as the eye could see. It was almost like standing in the middle of the ocean. On a deserted island, surrounded by a freshwater ‘sea’.

[3]

“So, are you going to swim in that?” I asked Fer.

“Absolutely not!”

“Ah, well, Dora-chan and Grandpa Gon could fly, and Sui…” I blinked at Sui, who was now zooming across the waters near the shore. “How about we just ride on Sui?”

“Sui? Isn’t that too inefficient? I could go faster,” said Grandpa Gon.

“Fumu, speed is a disadvantage now. Flying too fast and high just makes it more difficult to detect monsters,” said Fer snootily. As though he had thought up the entire plan by himself. “Oi, Sui, come here.”

“”Uncle Fer~?””

“You remember how we travel at the sea?”

“”Umu… big salty water~~??””

“Yes, excellent,”

“”Yes!! Sui become big Sui!!””

“Excellent, do that again. Bigger this time because we have another passenger.”

“”Yes~~ Sui will become biiii~~iiig~~!””

“Wait! Not too big, just… a little bigger than last time. Grandpa Gon, could you change to your smaller size? I don’t think it’s a good idea to travel too… conspicuously.” Not to mention, he might be too heavy for my sweet Sui!

“Ah, yes, indeed. I had forgotten.”

After a few more back and forths, Grandpa Gon shrunk while Sui enlarged. Then, together, we began our exploration of the Eremae River.

“”A fish, ei~!””

Plop.

A tentacle dropped another fish aboard Mizumaru [4].

“”Aruji~ Sui caught another fish~~””

“Excellent work, Sui!” I praised as I collected the 130cm long fish. It had some kind of rugged, armour-like skin and catfish-like whiskers. Naturally, the armoured skin was useless against Sui’s attack.

When I checked [Appraisal], it said:

Eremae Megalodoras [5]

Fish with white flesh and a light delicate taste. Very popular with the locals.

Oh? A type of white fish? Since it has a delicate taste, let’s sauté or tempura fry it later.

Sui was really too wonderful, aside from being a very safe and comfortable ship, she could also spear fish too! Aside from the 30 catfish-like Eremae Megalodoras. We also have 20 Arowana-like Eremae Saratoga (delicious when dried according to [Appraisal]).

“You haven’t found the Kelpie yet?”

“Umu,”

“Apologies, Master.”

“I guess we should just keep going.”

Well, it was pretty nice floating slowly along the gentle river. The day was nice and warm with a slight overcast and there was nothing to disturb the peace aside from Sui spearing the occasional fish.

Suddenly, both Fer and Grandpa Gon perked up. They both looked in the same general direction to the left.

“Mu,”

“Hmm,”

“Hm? Did two sense something?”

“Sui, go towards that area, to the left.”

“”Okay~ Uncle Fer~~””

Soon, we came upon an unexpected scene. Upon a riverbank, [7] five Adventurers were crouching in silence, two of them were aiming a harpoon-like thing with a rope attached to it at something. A third person was holding the harpoon while the rest were on guard. They were aiming the weapon at something in the water.

[7]

“Hey, are they hunting the Kelpie too?” I whispered, not wanting to disturb the party. I mean, we were technically given the mission, but that’s because no one’s taking it. Since the Kelpie doesn’t ‘taste good’, I’m sure my familiars wouldn’t care too much if we let this one go.

“Hmm, unlikely, since the Kelpie is coming from behind them…”

“I see… wait, what?! Hey! Hey, you guys!! Danger from behind!!” I shouted.

The five Adventurers jumped, one of them glared at me.

“A Kelpie! There’s a Kelpie coming for you!!”

Why are they still standing there like idiots? Run away!

Just then, the Kelpie leapt out of the water.

“Neigh–!”

It was… really a horse, a blue-green horse-like creature with a humongous fishtail.

That was when the Adventurers shrieked and scrambled up the riverbank for safety. Unfortunately, one of the Adventurers, a woman, lost her footing and fell. The Kelpie splashed towards the woman.

“This is bad! Someone do something!!”

““Ou, this thing is mine!!”” Dora-chan yelled. “”One hit is enough to kill you!!””

Stab–!

A pillar of ice stabbed through the Kelpie on the head.

“N-neighhh…”

It whimpered weakly before flopping to the ground.

“”Ou yeah!!”” Dora-chan did happy loops in the air. “”I’m super great!!””

Just where did he learn that expression?

“”Mu, Sui wants to defeat that~~””

“”Hey, you took down that big thing earlier on your own, yeah? This one’s mine!””

I ignored the two littlest familiars as they started to quarrel a little. The Adventurers on the shore were all staring at us with eyes and mouths wide open.

Ah, well, I don’t really feel like explaining anything. Let’s just collect the Kelpie and go away before they could react.

“Sui, grab that Kelpie-please.”

“”Okay~””

Fortunately, Sui stopped quarrelling with Dora-chan and extended a tentacle over to seize the Kelpie. Then, we hightailed it out of there.

I’ll put that Kelpie into my [Item Box] when we’re out of their sight.

[7]

[Gumihou: Adjusted the ending. I think it’s better this way.]

[1] Redid the ‘let’s subjugate the remaining mission monsters’ without making Mukouda too wimpy or the dialogue too draggy.

[2] Add detail to set the scenery.

[3] Redid the ‘let’s ride on Sui’ scene so that it’s more straightforward and less like ‘a bunch of people suffered group amnesia’.

[4] Japanese ship names often contain the word ‘-maru’ at the end. Also, the suffix -maru is often applied to words representing something beloved. Hence, ‘Mizumaru’.

Generally, ships don’t get named after people. So, instead of ‘Suimaru’, ‘Mizumaru’ seems more appropriate.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_ship-naming_conventions#:~:text=Japanese%20ship%20names%20follow%20different,%2C%20weather%20phenomena%2C%20or%20animals.

[5] Megalodoras – Catfish

[6] Saratoga – most famous type are the arowana

https://www.nativefish.asn.au/home/page/Saratoga

[7] Adventure party’s actions were unclear. There was no real reason why Mukouda would shout at them. They could be hunting the Kelpie too after all. So, recreate the scene to make Mukouda question this. Japanese are programmed to disdain queue jumpers.