This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

"Ok, I'll get to work."

As soon as the two clowns disappeared inside the cave, I hopped up the mountain to a higher point. The raggedy grounds with rows of stones sticking out made for an extremely uneven platform, but that wasn't a problem for me at all. Each hop took me higher on the mountain and I eventually found a good boulder.

"What are you doing?" Titania asked me.

"Getting rid of those menaces."

The boulder was thrice my size and was considerably thick. It would work just well.

I stabbed my fingers through the stone and lifted it like a ball.

"A-ah..." From down below, the coachman was looking at me with his jaws hanging open. He seemed to be doubting his eyes. I ignored him and tossed the boulder up a couple of times while descending the mountain.

Then, I placed the boulder in front of the entrance of the cave. It rolled and hit the cave walls. With a simple kick, it was wedged inside the entrance, blocking the path completely.

"Sir Adventurer..."

I turned back at the coachman's call. He was trembling in his boots while his eyes were stuck on the boulder.

"What?" I asked.

He looked at me, and then the boulder, then at me again. I didn't know what he was thinking, but he seemed to be going through a dilemma.

In the end, the Coachman let out a resigned sigh. "Sir, the river will be blocked."

"Ooh!"

I looked down and say that the already lacking flow of water was further impeded by the boulder I had placed. It was good to keep those bastards inside...

A small hole wouldn't allow them to escape, would it?

"Catene, go."

At my words, the chains shot out of my arm and dashed toward the boulder like a small snake. The chains, covered with purple Ki, dug into the rock and made a wide enough hole for the water to flow out with high pressure but not enough for either of those two rats to come out.

This would do, hopefully.

The Chains of Adamas rushed back through the air and coiled themselves around my right arm. These chains were Orichalcum-Ranked equipment that I had found while clearing out a demon worshipper's nest north of the Deep Down Town. Not only could they transform and work independently, but they were also weightless. Perfect equipment.

"Then, mister. Let's go to the capital."

I got in the carriage and took a seat, not before tossing out those rats' luggage though.

The coachman seemed greatly hesitant. He muttered something about a tomb and paying respects as he sat on the carriage and whipped the horses again.

"Haaah! So much more peaceful."

"Those idiots really had a weird plan," Titania commented as the two of us stretched our arms above our heads.

The carriage started descending the mountain much slower than it had climbed up.

It continued in peace for a couple of minutes, and then.

—BOOOM!

The carriage trembled as the earth quaked. A crashing sound echoed behind us.

The coachman tried to get the horses under control. Leaving him be, I hooked my hand around the window and flipped out to stand on top of the carriage.

Crushed was a cute word compared to what had happened to the boulder that I had placed. Streaming out of the cave was the body of a giant brown lizard. A mane of skin was stuck around its neck as it slithered its humongous body out of the cave. Each step it took made the earth quake as spikes shot out of the ground.

The lizard's breaths brought out a puff of dust and its screams made rocks form in thin air.

Salamander.

The salamander came rushing out of the cave, and behind it, came out two more people, their screams louder than whatever the monster did.

"It's a Greater Salamander!!!" Sharky's scream rang in my ears.

Clouds of dust and stones floated my way as the carriage rapidly sped downhill. In the time I could blink, the monster covered meters of distance.

"Those fucking dumbasses."

I crossed my arms and sat down on the carriage while glaring at the two.

Not my fight.

"HEY DON'T SIT!!!" Sharky's voice was even louder than before. His fists had turned into a megaphone as he screamed those words out. "WE CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THAT ON!"

I frowned.

It wasn't like a greater salamander was that tough. Two gold ranks could take one down for the cheap price of a couple limbs. It sucked that their compatibility was different, though.

"Oh, Eugy," Titania, resting her stomach on my shoulder while looking behind us. She was cutely swinging her legs as she spoke. "The fields are here, if the salamander gets close it will ruin those.

"Hmm..."'

Ruining people's hard work didn't fit my tastes.

"Alright, I'll handle it."

The salamander closed in. I jumped off the top of the carriage as dozen shields formed below my feet, creating a long footing. I hopped, stepped, and then sprinted down the line of shields.

"KWEK!?"

"Aw, is it confused seeing a flying person?" I wasn't flying, but it must have looked like I was running in the air. What a cutie.

I closed in on the monster.

"Haap!" My fists clenched, and my muscles hardened.

Ki coursed through my veins and filled my body with energy. I ran under its chin and kicked up.

A thwack incomparable to the sound before rang out. I could see the monster's face bending in a pointed shape as its head shot up to the sky, followed by its body. A raging gust spread in all directions.

The carriage behind came to a stop, and so did the two people running this way.

I covered my forehead with my palms and looked up, a smile crept on my lips as the salamander flailed its arms around. "Daddy is proud to see you fly."

"Ew."

Titania's comments were unnecessary.

I held in my complaints and snapped my fingers. In a go, the boulders and dirt the monster had formed coalesced in the air as an ethereal magic circle formed.

The dust and stone broke apart and joined together to form an enormous stone spear comparable to the size of the monster.

"KWAA! KWAAAA!"

The monster stopped in the air, and then came rushing back down. Just the tip of my fingers touched the bottom of the spear nearly five times my size.

The monster screamed—

"KWAAAA!"

—And its face was stabbed through the spear of stone.

It was dead.

With my finger as its axis, the spear spun along my hands, and as I flung it down, the spear tossed away the body of the salamander.

It arched in the air, forming a great curve.

"Ah! AAH! It's coming this way!!"

"ZZZ!!"

Wow, he was sleeping aggressively!

The two adventurers turned tail and started running away, but it was too late as the corpse of the monster went right over them and knocked them out.

"There we go."

Salamander? Handled.

Idiots? Handled.

***

Sharky woke up a long time after he was crushed by the corpse of the salamander.

His teeth jittered and his muscles ached. As his eyes fluttered open, he noticed it was already dark.

A groan left his lips as he tried to stand up, but something held his body in place.

He was sitting up, his arms were pushed back. Something hard hit his head.

He looked down at his torso.

Tied.

With the hide of the Salamander, as strong as the earth itself, he was tied down next to a rock.

"W-w-wait what!?" Sharky screamed. "DUSK!? DUSK! DID YOU FUCKING TIE US UP!?"

He looked around in a haste, but no matter where his gaze fell, he could only see trees and stones. Not that far below was the cave that had been their target.

"DUSKK!!!" Sharky screamed again.

"DUSSSSSSSSSKKKKK!!"

No matter how much he shouted, his voice reached no one.

"Zzz..."

Somehow his friend was in his pajamas again, though.

Dusk had left Sharky for a long date with loneliness.